Stress!!!!!

So, with just under 4 months to go, things have taken a turn for the worst!

On top of beginning to stress over the things I have yet to finish (place cards, table names, menus, evening invites), and those things I have yet to sort (gifts for the new usher, gifts for the mums, favours), and people I need to see (florist, venue coordinator, photographer), and the fact that I am no where near my ideal size 14...... 2 marriages collapse around me! Yes, not 1, but 2!!

The first marriage is that of one of my MOH's. They split about a fortnight ago as he said they weren't able to communicate, she has a temper and it was just not working. I was really sad about this, but am now feeling quite angry towards him as he is laying all the blame at her door. He says she basically cant control her temper, and that she needs to change for him to consider coming back.
Now, yes, she does have a temper, and yes, she does need to sort it out and control it, but he is no where near perfect. He is a little shifty at times and secretive, and if he doesn't want to talk about something, he wont.

Neither of them are perfect, no, but it takes 2 to argue and work on a relationship.
He is also saying that he is still going to come to the wedding.. really?? And you made that decision did you sunshine?? Sod what the bride and groom think or feel then eh??
I need my MOH to be supportive and there on my W day - not feeling upset, distressed and worried that she is going to see her sort of ex? I don't wish to be mean or unsympathetic, but it is my special day, and I need to focus on what it means to me and my husband to be? Hopefully though, they can work it out, and if they cant, then we will have to tell him that he cant come to the ceremony & reception, but is welcome to come to the evening.
I don't know him as much as I know her, she is my MOH and plays an important role.

The other marriage is that of my brother! I am not too sure what the issue is there - seems he is another one that's being a bit shifty, but she is being too clingy so its a bit of a mess. I cant see them working things out - so that will make the guest list interesting.
I would still like her to come, but I know how uncomfortable she might feel if she did.

I don't know, the timing couldn't be worse really. There we were merrily planning our day, and thinking it would be H2B's family that muck it up for us, and it would seem that isn't the case.... although the majority of them still haven't booked any flights/ accommodation... but that's for another day when I need a moan..

RSVP stress!

What is it with people?? We sent our invites out at the beginning of January, asking people to RSVP by 14.2.11 if they were in Ireland, or by 5.2.11 if they are in the UK. We know we have still got a couple of weeks left, but we have had approx 8 RSVP's back!!!

8!!!

Out of 32 invitations!! what is is with people? Of those 8, 7 of them are people that we knew would be coming as they are family - i.e, my aunty, my cousin, H2B's nan, H2B's mum, my cousin in law and H2B's uncle. The other 2 are friends of ours!

We cant understand why people dont want to just get it sent and out the way?? Why do people take so long?? We have also heard that one of H2B's uncles might not be coming as they hae booked a holiday for that month, despite them knowing when we would be getting married BEFORE they booked it!!!

On top of the whole Conal thing, we are a bit cross. Is it too much to ask for people to say yes or no??

Obviously it is........

Gutted, H2B very upset...

I have been on night shifts for the last 3 days, so havent seen H2B until today.
Something wasnt right with him, and he told me whats up...

He had a call from our usher, Conal... he cant make the wedding. :-(

Conal works as a sailing teacher for a charity that teaches underpriviledged children how to sail. He has asked his boss for the weekend of the wedding off, and his boss, after discussing it with a more senior manager, has said he cant take the time off. Basically, if he does, then he wont have a job to return to.

We are both gutted, and H2B is very upset. Conal would of been brilliant at the job, and is the perfect foil for H2b. He is chilled out and calm, and would of stopped H2B from getting too worked up - he would also have diffused any tensions, and looked fab in the photos!

We are both devastated. I am clinging onto a small shred of hope that something will change and Conal will be ableto come, but I think thats a desperate hope.

We now have the dilemma of trying to find an alternative usher. It has really dampened our planning, and we will miss him awfully at the wedding.

Gutted.

:-(

Dilemma's, solutions and disappointment for someone.......

Well, with only about 7 months left to go, I thought I had better go and sort out some flowers.

I trawled the internet, and found a fair few florists and checked out their sites, and got estimates from them.

I narrowed it down to 3 florists. Florist A was my first choice - I got a good vibe from their site, and their prices were reasonable. Florist B was the same one my sister in law used when she married my brother, so I knew the flowers were good. Florist C was my 'bogey' florist! I had bought some flowers from her before, and thought that she was a bit snooty, but I had heard some great things about her, and seen some of her work in a local wedding mag. I also contacted another florist, but when I told her my budgt (which is fair and not entirely unmanageable!), she asked if that was just for my bouquet and the MOH's, when I said it was for everything, she went very quiet, then proceeded to say that if I only wanted the 3 bouquets and buttonholes, I 'wouldnt be over by much'.... not happening love as I need the budget to cover all the bouquets, the buttonholes, registrar table centre,, throwing bouquet & thank you flowers!! Needless to say, she was soon of my list of potentials!
Right, so I went to florist C - they were closed as it was a wednesday, and half day closing for them. Ok, next!
Florist A - I got a welcome reception from Steph, and she listened to my ideas. She was really helpful, and seemed to 'get' what I was saying. She didnt try to direct my in any way, but guided me and was really enthusiastic. A good result, but I didnt want to make a snap decision. She wrote down everything, and said she would send me an estimate in the post.

I made an appointment with florist B for few days later.
Florist B - the appointment was really productive, and although she didnt have the flowers I want to use in her shop, she had some similar ideas in a portfolio and we looked through them. Her work was brilliant, and she wasnt as snooty as I first thought. She accepted what I wanted, and seemed to know what woud suit and what wouldnt. However, there were a few times when I was explaining things and using her pictures to demonstrate, but she didnt listen and carried on with what she thought would be best. Hmmm...

The appointment lasted about an hour and 10 mins, and I came away feeling very torn between the 2. I decided I would have to wait for the estimates..

The estimates arrived, and after a bit of tweaking with the one from Florist A, the prices were in...
Neither florist had managed to obtain any info about a special rose I am interested in - the 'green eye' rose, but they both promised to look into it. Estimates in, and there was approx £9 difference between them!! AARGGHH!!

Not wanting to make a hasty decision, I mulled it over for a couple of days. Fiance was supportive, and said he would stand by whomever I chose. Friends tried to offer advice, but ultimately, I had to decide.
I went back over the meetings and feelings I had about them...the vibe I got. Still nothing, so I made a list of positives and negatives for each.
Florist A - listened, enthusiastic, non corporate (i.e. not with interflora), accessible, rapid response, experimental
Florist B - experience, artistic, easy to get to, large portfolio

Negatives -
Florist A - Experimental, less experienced, laid back
FLoris B - charges for delivery, didnt listen, overrode some of my ideas, a little on the pushy side, didnt feel as comfortable with her..

Decision made - it has to be Florist A!

I went down this morning, and walked into the shop - I saw the owner preparing a shower bouquet and it looked gorgeous, and she was really warm and knew me ('ah, the green eye roses') even though I hadnt dealt with her. I saw Steph, and asked if we could book her. She was really pleased and enthusiastic, and I knew then I had made the right choice!

I paid a deposit, and left feeling really happy! I cant wait to work with her and see my thoughts become a reality!
This is her website:

www.janebidwellflowers.co.uk!

Wedding Veil success!!

After choosing my dress, it seemed appropriate that i begin my search for accessories...

I decided to start with my veil, as I figured this would be easy as I knew exactly what I wanted.... how wrong was i???

I wanted a mid length, 2 tier veil, with crystals and some detailing on the edge.... simple eh? Couldnt find one i liked anywhere!!

I tried the 'design your own sites' but i wasnt sure if what i was designing was going to be the right length or design i expected it to be.

I stumbled across the UK wedding veil site (good ol' google!) and found a veil that i loved, but it wasnt quite right - it was missing the crystals -




I tried to recreate it using their design service, but wasnt happy, so connected to their 'live web chat' tool....
I spoke to a lovely lady called Dawn, and she said I would be able to add the crystals to this veil. I placed my order, and after payment (it was cheaper than the one on their site strangely enough!), we agreed it would be delivered in about 10 days as I would be around to receive it...

About 7 days later, a knock on the door - recorded delivery item for me.... yes, it was my veil!!

I ran upstaits and took it out of its packaging...... its gorgeous!! Exactly as i wanted it to look, and its just the right length and lovely!! I quickly put it on, and felt amazing!

I reluctantly removed it, then re-wrapped it and stored it away with my other bits and bobs...... cant wait to see what it looks like with my dress..... should be lush!!

More shopping.....

Yesterday, myself and my MAtrons of Honour, C & M, went shopping for their dresses. We booked an appointment in the shop where i bought my dress from, but I said that if we didnt find anything in there, we could go and look in other shops until we found something. It was also going to be the first time C & M would meet....

So, went around to C's, and we drove over to pick up M... C seemed a bit nervous, but seemed to relax as she realised M was lovely. They actually had a lot in common and seemed to get on really well.

We arrived at the shop, and we looked at some pictures of dresses - luckily, both girls wanted full length dresses. I said I would be happy for them to have different styles in the same colour as they are too entirely different shapes.

We selected a few to try on, and so the fun began...

We quickly discovered that shiny satin wasnt doing anything for them (does it do anything for anyone???), and narrowed it down to 2 dresses:

This one:




or this one:



C was a bit unsure of the 2nd one, but she looked great in it. She preferred the first one as I think she felt it disguised her lumps and bumps more. We said the dress was a little tight on her, and that her actual dress would be less figure hugging but give her a better shape. M loved the dress, and secretly, I wanted it too as it was similar to my wedding dress. But, I wanted the girls to make the decision themselves, so remained neutral.

C then tried on the first dress, and fortunately, decided she actually didnt like it as much as she had done before - result! I paid the deposit and thats it - dresses are ordered. We are having them in the Emerald colour which will match beautifully with the chaps cravats, and will look amazing in the photos - I cant wait am really excited!!

I have had to ask the girls to tone down their boistorousness though - the shop owner was ok with it (and the fact they were swearing a little), but she said the seamstress would be a little offended. Hopefully they will take note. We go back next year for measurements before we order, then they will have their first fitting 5 weeks before the day, then if another fitting is needed, it will be the week before, but the girls can arrange that for whenever it suits them.

Really happy, and I know we will all look fab!!

Actually.....

After rechecking with the shop, it seems i have actually NOT chosen the above dress!!! In fact, i have chosen this one:




the confusion arose as the shop renames the dresses, and doesnt actually tell you who its by! When i investigated, i realised it was actually this one! I love it, and am doubly pleased as it is by my favourite designer (Alfred Angelo)... and was one i picked from his site as a favourite!1 I get sooooo excited when i see it - cant wait to put it back on in february!!

I have made an appointment to go back to the shop in November with one of my matrons... i ahve asked both, but as usual, one is being really keen and positive, whilst the other is severly lacking. I know the she has a lot on her mind at the moment, but an enthusiastic text, or something would really mean a lot.

I have made a decision that if, after christmas, she hasnt changed, and is still a bit difficult to pin down, then i will have a chat with her and ask her if she feels its too much and needs to step down? I want someone there who is excited and helps me, rather than someone who just drifts about a bit and only occasionally gets involved. Fortunately, my other matron is just what i need and gets almost as excited as me! I think if the other one does decide to step down, i will just have the one matron, and spend a little more on her dress and gift.

Will keep you posted about this though!!